feelings inside me, threatening to burst out
i don’t know i don’t know i don’t know
tears just behind my lids
body quavering
as if in fear, but of what, i’m unsure
i’m unsure i’m unsure i’m unsure
pressure building
blowing up
my body inflating
bursting at the seams
almost but i’m still intact
almost but i’m chilled to the bone
come save me from the music in my soul
coffee only cures physical ailments
the mind needs more
the heart

just breathe but i can’t
fingers numb and searching
grasping in the dark for things unknown
my stomach sick, body feeling nauseous
retching up stressful bile
brain clammy with cold sweat
not wanting company
just want the strength to be free to cry
to weep over unsaid reasons
thoughts not yet coherent

heart clenches
doing somersaults
cartwheels of the brain
flipping incoherently through the s*** of the world
resting only to become lost
never finding solace

f***:
wanting it
not giving it
but no one beside me
cold, stiff sheets crackle under my frozen limbs