One day my father summoned me
And handed me a bag of peas
Little, green, and mostly round
Wasabi covered an’ weighing a pound.
I shouted, Oh no, I beg you please
Father, don’t make me eat those peas
I begged for mercy on my knees
But father, he ignored my pleas
They’re good for you, he solemnly said
So go on, eat, or I’ll smash your head
So like the obedient child I was,
I scooped a handful, thought a cuss
Made a prayer, crossed my fingers
And gulped it down before it lingered
Oh pain, the stinging waves of heat
That numbed my nose and tickled my feet
Tears flowing, heart-a-pounding,
I ran in circles speed astounding
A blur of sweat, steam, flying bogies
I ran and ran and screamed, ‘Oh help me!’
My father did no damn such thing
He stood there an’ watched me from the wings
And kept on watching till I melted
Into a puddle, then said ‘That’s dealt with’