I feel dead to this world
I no longer apply
I no longer exist in another person’s eye
Not even she can look at me, not even of what I’ve done

The shame built up, like a fully loaded gun
The gun that I used to shoot myself, a reason that I’ve drowned
I’ve drowned so deeply in regret
Never ending frown
Gazing at the floor not recognizing who I am,
When will I smile again?

In shame I bore,
Labels I ignore, and roomers that buried me beneath the floor.
Deep down inside I’m worn out
Soaked and torn
I need help through this metal door
As weak as I am and as strong as I need to be
I can’t keep making decisions that separate me from me.