I cry, I scream, I sob, I yell
My life is lit by the fires of hell
Sunset brings dark filled with death
The only sound is pounding death
Problems come to hurt and taunt
Old shames and failures stalk and haunt
A broken spirit would be seen
But not in a misty dream
Family and friends leave my sight,
Abandon me in endless night

A mother twists my starting frame
If I don’t change, I get the blame
For burning anger, for scorching love
Where is the peace? Send me the dove!
Scoldings come in fire and ice
A hidden malice behind fake “nice”
A father imparts a heavy guilt
Despite a frame of trust that’s built
Worry transfers, claws my skin
Sorrow stabs when the fights begin
But I blame you for standing by
I must defend when I want to cry
You stand there, you take the words
Never flinching at a curse
A mother and father start the pain
But the children feel the strain
The other child, though, is never clean
My eyes watch for her malevolent gleam
At her name the anger boils
Memories of many toils
She is one of clashing lights
One that mends, one that bites
A river rushing over ground
Slow to change, quick to drown

Debt lurks to the shady side
Adding tension, destroying pride
Splitting family with its axe
Hoping to love and patience tax
Starting storms filled with malice
Vulnerability builds its palace

Escape from pain I seem to grasp
But hope is guarded by an asp
Stress its venom, expectations its fangs
Panic comes in clenching pangs
School and worry hand in hand
Pressure burns its searing brand
Success has chains of its own
The burden wears you to the bone

The world for me should be free
But hidden traps are all to see
Rejection and failure leave their snares
While strangers look with loveless stares
Kindness lost in a world gone numb
Gray the color, always glum
Who cares if a child dies?
Boasts and brags drown out the cries
I’m to lead the normal life
Grope for money, ignore all strife
I’m to claw and burn for power
Leave all others to whimper and cower
Machiavelli’s ideas have spread
Such wisdom from the so long dead
I’m to partake in violent greed
And let hatred plant its vile seed
Success is measured in printed paper
Not in days lived and savored
I want yarn, a roof, a dog
Not to be some mindless cog
Yet rules are rules, what’s done is done
Now to find a path and run

I hate what I’m supposed to become
Any yet, I yearn for that numb
I see black walls close in on me
My courage and peace begin to flee
All mental ills lay their bricks
I try to fight with pitiful kicks
A prison wall will surely form
The cloudless sky will start to storm
Yet all will turn another blind eye
To the darkening, simmering sky
Friends will glimpse the world of pain
But all will remain the same
We cannot understand the stories
Of other’s lives, their shame, their glories
But I still give them thoughts to care,
For them to love, for them to share
Then they are broken and shattered
As I will never matter
Some may bring sweet relief
Others bring anger and grief
And I stay trapped in a shrinking space
Forced into my appointed place
Locked in a room to live and learn
Without the numb, emotions burn

I begin to unchain the past
And it reminds me, very fast
Of gates unopened, ideas halted
Why are they so far exalted?
You did your work, paid your dues
Want some trust, they refuse
A fire has started deep within
And now I serve its every whim
Until reality hits my face-
My anger fills the numbing’s place
And in new desperation I fight
To see and know a kinder light
My mutterings rise to painful screams
Moments blur to fevered dreams
I cry, I call for someone to come
To free me, to mend what’s done
I remain trapped in lifeless fear
No one looks, no one steps near
Oh, what will become of this pitiful race
If apathy will empathy soon replace?

Time flows on in winding ruts
And my chains deepen their cuts
But soon a cloud of relief descends
Any my panic draws to an end
Screams mellow to muted sobs
I start to work the appointed job
But I cry, I scream, I sob, I yell