Angry Monkey | Teen Ink

Angry Monkey

May 15, 2013
By The_Lord GOLD, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
The_Lord GOLD, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
10 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Monkey: “WHY!!!!”
Guy: “What?”
M: “Nobody on Teen Ink is viewing my stuff!”
G: “And you’re upset because?”
M: “I spent a lot of time on these.”
G: “Yeah, those full ten minutes of time.”
M: “I pour my heart and soul on to these pieces.”
G: “Well, you have comments longer than your pieces and the humour is lacking.”
M: “You dare question my writing!”
G: “It’s just not good writing.”
M: “Like what?!”
G: “Your spelling is bad.”
M: “That’s sutpid.”
G: “My point exactly.”
M: “The monkeys would appreciate it.”
G: “Whatever, man.”
M: “I want a divorce.”
G: “We were never married.”
M: “You don’t remember the papers you signed?”
G: “PAPERS?!”

After a long fight...

M: “You punch like a girl.”
G: “You didn’t even get a punch in.”
M: “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
G: “Yeah, right.”


The author's comments:
If anybody read my other pieces (which is why I wrote this. READ THEM) you would know I'm a monkey. I got booted from the bahamas because my monkey wife had eaten a banana and I must get revenge. On the way, I met Emma Watson. She called animal control because she thought I was attacking her. I'm writing this in a safe house that I could not tell the location of. Quebec is full of nice people. I have a broken foot because the cops put a wire around it and I tripped while escaping. I ran all the way to the safe house and it was guarded by an ape. The ape demanded a fight in order to get into the safe house. I managed to trick him into beating himself up by telling him to. And I hope that– OH NO THE COPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Join us next time to see if monkey man escapes.

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This article has 1 comment.


on Feb. 10 2014 at 8:16 pm
deeplythinking GOLD, Orlando, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 24 comments
Hahaha-- "I'm writing this from a safe house that I cannot tell you the location of. Quebec is full of nice people." Ha this is great monkey-man! I enjoyed this piece very much and more than the man would think.