I’ve been given four walls
No need for congratulations
It’s my punishment for not abiding
To society’s rules and strict regulations
I’ve been given some bars
No chocolate is rewarded
These people don’t believe me
But I just could not afford it

It was my daughter’s birthday you see
And I love her to bits
I wanted to get her everything,
If I could... the Ritz!
But she wanted something different
Some sort of expert technology
All singing all dancing
Equals a disappointing apology

For I could not afford what she
So desperately craved
Due to recent redundancy
To wealth I had waved
But I wanted to please her,
To go that extra mile
I didn’t think for one second
It would lead to this trial

See, I am not a criminal
But I do live in fear
That my whole life is ruined
Because of one not so bright idea
I’ve learnt from my mistakes
And i hasten to add
That never again will I try to steal
An apple ipad