I stare in the mirror
and flaws jump out at me.
Fat, stupid, ugly, worthless
My mind yells at me.
Tears fill my eyes
Why can’t I just like what I see?
My says it’s because I really am fat, stupid, ugly, and worthless.

I look in the mirror harder and the image gets worse.
I see myself and I’m filled with disgust
I feel bad for those that see me
I can’t even see myself without being horrified.
Minutes pass
and I stand there, crying
My dress is wrong,
my face is wrong
I’m just wrong
Defeated, I take off the dress
and lose another day to the monster in my head.
Her name is Ana.

She always seems to win
No matter what I try.
I’m getting tired of losing my life to her.
She tells me I’m fat, stupid, ugly, worthless
She says I can’t have fun
or enjoy my life.
Ana takes and takes,
but she never gives
Before long, she’ll take it all,
but I don’t want that.

I’m done giving her my life
I want to look at myself and be okay
I want to go out for a day and not hear her voice,
pounding negativity into my head
It will take time
and patience,
but I’m ready.
Ready to face recovery
and finally accept help
to let my family
and not let Ana win.
I’ll be alright,
just not tonight.
And that’s okay.
Right now,
I need to know
that where I am is okay
and that one day,
I’ll look in the mirror,
and the voice will be silent.
Ana is gone and,
I can truly say I love myself.