I watched you walk away today.
you said you didn't have
anything to say.
how could you expect me to
think when all i wanted was
for you to stay?

do you remember the way
your eyes glistened that
night you said you loved me?
the moon could almost
outshine them, i recall.

and remember when we stayed
up? you said you wanted to
watch the sun come up and
paint over the darkness
with pretty clouds, and replace
the stars with the bright sun.

remember when we had it all?

i still have my wall painted from
that one time you decided
to decorate it with deep
quotes that you claimed
defined our love.

our love.

where did it go?

tell me, did you even think to
stay? or was your quietness
a way to let me know it was
real that it was the day that
you would leave me?

all my love is for you
and i want you to know I will
never forget the little things you do.

and i wonder if that's what
runs through your brain
as you sit in that train
headed to L.A.

would it anger you if I showed
up at the station, drunk,
confessing my love for you in small
explanations in front of
strangers who you would say
are putting our love in danger?

and I wonder if you ever
think of me the way that I
do every sleepless night.

and even though we're worlds
away, I will always be your girl
and, I confess, i just want you
to stay.

I still haven't made the other
half of the bed in which you
slept. and your smell is still
there. cheap cologne and
cigarettes.

I found your jacket in the
closet the other day. I
wanted to pack it and send
it away to your new address
but i remembered you never
gave it to me. so i placed
it on your side of the bed
and i'd like to imagine it
is you lying next to me but i
know this void will never go
away and I want you to come
back and, please, just stay.

and I know that no matter
how bad i want you to stay,
you will still part and go your
own way because as
people grow, they grow
apart. and i am just happy to
have been a part of your life
and in the future when you
have kids and a wife, I will
be happy for you and I will
continue to trust that the
love we had was real while
it lasted.

but for the mean time I
will keep leaning on our
memories, grasping them
tightly, not even letting go
slightly because once
they slip away, you will
disappear along with them.

for the mean time i will
continue saying,
"stay"