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Has It Been So Long
Can you feel it?
The aura resonating in me
It's a sick enough color
To make you believe
That there's stuff I've bottled down
Inside for years
Hoping I would never have to face
My darkest fears
I guess there's empty questions
That still hide inside my head
There were feelings at 16 years old
Of why I wasn't the one
Dead instead?
And all the holes you left a void
When you drifted away
It wasn't choice or hesitation
It wasn't planned for our dismay
You left without saying goodbye
And we could never do the same
I watched you splinter like a board
Coming up with nails
That were struggling to hold down
The structure of broken trails
Oblivious to this sense of time
I never knew what was running out
Until the sand escaped the hourglass
And I knew I was without
Mama it's been 3 years now
Almost a whole 4
But that doesn't make it any easier
Since the last time you left our door
Wherever you are take better care
Of yourself and your new friends
And your son will try his best
In his life to make amends
For any wrongs that I may do
And all the s*** I may go through
I know I've come so far since last we met
I just wish I had one more chance
To say I love you
Mom
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