I want to be... | Teen Ink

I want to be...

September 5, 2013
By jordanray BRONZE, Lilbourn, Missouri
jordanray BRONZE, Lilbourn, Missouri
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The water runs deep. The blood runs deeper. The mountains get high. The problems get steeper. The drama gets longer, but I don't get stronger. It seems to bring me down. It makes me feel like a clown. I'm tired of the harmful jokes. I'm tired of the invisible cloaks. I'm tired of not being seen, I want to be a human-being. I want to be there, I want to feel that love and care. The things that I've heard so much about, I want to stand so tall and stout.



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This article has 2 comments.


on Sep. 16 2013 at 9:27 pm
TheSkyOwesMeRain GOLD, Irvine, California
13 articles 1 photo 299 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments which take your breath away.

You are only as strong as your weakest link.

Wonderful work here :) I can really sense the emotion that went into this. 

No title said...
on Sep. 16 2013 at 10:20 am
Dear Jordan,      We just critiqued your poem in class and have some advice.  First, you need to find more expressive, concrete to express emotions.  Second, avoid repetitive words such as "I," "the," etc.  Finally, don't force rhymes, but rather let the poetry flow.  Yes, you seem to have a good sense of humor. Sincerely, LA Poetry Class