There he goes
Down the block
He’s underage with a foaming
Red Solo Cup
Cops are chasing him
But they won’t catch him
Because he is Lampshade Man

He trip along the curb
Down the hill
Rolling to the front of a grocery store
He buys more with his fake ID
Cops drive by and he runs
He is Lampshade Man

He can’t see in front of him
But he keeps going
The cup is now completely empty
His swagger comes from unsteadiness
But that’s what makes him cool
That’s what makes him
Lampshade Man

He’s the life of every party
Always making the same mistake
Full of life and quirky
He’ll be in holding first
He’s the guy your parents
warned you about
He’s Lampshade Man

Though he never learns
He will continue on his path of destruction
Running down the concrete road
Being chased by cops
who’ll never catch him
With me by his side, he won’t
be alone
Together we are
the Lampshade Bandits!