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Not Good Enough For A Conscious
Not good enough, not good enough- the words run through my head.
I cannot change the things you did, nor delete the things you said.
Flashbacks take over me, my conscious bleeding red.
My dreams, my goals, my heart and soul- surely they are dead.
I hurts me when I go to sleep because the light’s turned off.
I jolt awake to the dryer’s thump, every bang or cough.
Nobody knows the thoughts inside, they believe that I am tough.
While here I remain, sulking in pain for I’m not good enough.
Broken to the very bone, I can’t erase the fright.
He cultivates- a world of hate- every day and night.
I close my eyes, try to sleep and clutch my pillow tight.
Vulnerable- haunted, taunted- every single night.
Yet, here I am, broken down, my conscious is a slave.
Wish that I could confess of this, but I am no where near brave.
A secret pain that cuts me deep, for I am driven to my grave.
You’re a rotting soul, a pervert, a lesser honor than a knave.
You tricked me, you lied, forbid I say no.
The pain, the sorrow, you wouldn’t let go.
Will I ever be free? Who is to know?
When I can’t live to see a better tomorrow.
Your bony fingers slide, your creepy smile created.
I’m captive to your prison, your evil mind inflated.
I’m imprisoned to your glare, my self esteem deflated.
Your scheme, your dream, your evil gleam evilly cultivated.
How could I escape with the horrendous glimpse of fear?
Regardless of every plea, regardless of every tear.
The pain that stained the bleeding veins is very very near.
The answer to the problem is evidently clear.
Because of you, I can’t think straight; the pain won’t disappear.
Around every corner, it’s you I see, constantly you reappear.
No longer can I stay strong, I’m tired of being tough.
Throughout the abuse and all the pain, I guess I’m not good enough.
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