I have felt betrayal by the people I have loved
And still somehow care for.
I was betrayed by a man,
I called my grandfather.
And yet I still care for him.
I still would cry if he died.
Why?

Shouldn’t I be mad at him?
Shouldn’t I hate him for all that he’s done to me,
And whatever family I have left?
Should I not hate all he is?

Yet I still think of all he had taught me.
I still think of all the times he made me feel important.
Important…
He taught me that everything in my life is important,
Even the little things.
As long as I think they are,
They’ll be important to me.

I was betrayed by my grandmother
And yet I still love and care for her.
Is that normal?

Shouldn’t I hate her
And all she is?
Does my mother?
Probably.
Why not me?
She took his side,
And kicked me to the curb.
I felt beaten down,
When he hurt me.
Searching for her to help me,
She never did though.
She called me a liar,instead.
I was a living body with a dying soul.
But yet I still care and forgive her.

Why?
Why will I still try my best to help?
Through all the pain she gave me
I still remember all those times when I was young,
How she tried to have the connection me and her husband had.
How she kissed my cheeks and hugged me too tight.
How she always said she’ll never stop loving me.
But also I remember feeling like all she did,
And all she said was lies.

Is there a reason I’m like this?
Is this your fault?
Do you wish for me to forgive all?
Why?

God have you casted a gift or curse on me?
I have no the enemies.
I dont get mad too long,
I haven’t ever hated anyone in my life.
Why?
Why do you wish for me to be consumed my a concept
That no ones truly bad,
Only makes mistakes.
Why do you wish for me to believe that
Everyone's good and can always be forgiven.
Do you wish for me to love all,
No matter what?
Why should i have the bleeding heart for others?
Why can’t be normal?
Why should I be different?
Why should I stick out?
Why should I be consumed by others sadness,
Instead of my own?

God you have given me the ability to forgive,
Even though I wish for the ability to forget.