Why do I do it you ask?
Relief from tension I guess.
A lot of times I felt so alone and abandoned when I cut up, I guess it was mostly for attention.
People wondered what was wrong with me.
I thought it would give me more recognition and that I wouldn't feel so alone.
But it didn't work.
It just became more like an addiction or an adrenaline rush.
I didn't like seeing the blood but as it oozed out, I thought the pain and suffering would ooze out with it.
A weight was lifted from me for the moment, but after awhile I regretted it.
There are other things I can do to make myself feel better- like talking to someone when I am down.
Cutting doesn't solve anything anyways.
As soon as the wound heals, there's this big scar and I still feel just as bad.
Imagine 10-20 years down the road and your little girl or your little baby boy pointing to your scars asking, "Mommy what happened?"
I don't even like looking at them myself.
I get called a dalmatian because on how many scars I have.
Imagine going to a job interview and them turning you down because of your scars.
They'll be with me for the rest of my life.
That I can't change now.
But other things I can.