Dear Ms. R.:

Your memorial service was sad
Not many people came
And some of the ones that did
Talked loudly and laughed.
It echoed in a disgusting way through the chapel.

It felt rude.

I didn't really know what to do
With my hands when we weren't praying

So I found the next hymn in the hymnal
"How Great Thou Art"
Number 77
Your favorite.

I read it dutifully, even though I knew every verse by heart since I was ten

It was desperation.

The pastor kept calling you Susan
Even though your name was Sue
And he kept saying how close you both were
But he still called you Susan

I didn't really trust him.

There weren't even pictures of you
Just your name written in black ink
In block letters
That don't match your personality

They felt angry.

I didn't cry at first
And the pastor kept saying not to cry
Since you were with God
And of course I cried.

I felt tears flood my eyes
I'm sorry. I know you're with God
But I couldn't stop.

And after the service
There was refreshments in the rose garden
I couldn't eat
I felt sick.
I met your sisters, they look just like you.
I told them how you are my inspiration
And I cried even more.
Because every moment was one without you.