When there are no words and your heart is shattered , when you've lost all thought and you've never hurt so much but felt so numb , this , this my friend is pain . Pain that hurts deep down to the very core of your existence . Pain that unequivocally sets fire to your soul and torches you from the inside out . Pain that unmistakably turns your reality into your most disturbing and catastrophic nightmare. Once you've been this low , once this pain has consumed all that you are , all that you once were , you begin to forget that anything else in this forsaken world exist . Your very beating heart begins to thrive on the pain that you once used to be so utterly terrified of. You begin to crave the devastation of it's devilish touch . You'll find that you begin to inflict yourself with this pain that tears you down a little more each time . You inflict this pain by holding onto things that hurt you , things that make you unsure of yourself , people that are no good for you and that degrade you and make you feel like you're nothing .You find yourself doing this because even the though it makes you so completely paralyzed , you've never felt so alive . You watch as the pain you crave creates wound after wound , ripping your heart into a million tiny pieces . But , you don't see what it's doing because you're blinded by the need to feel something , the need to know that you are alive , and breathing . There are wounds that are never seen on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds . These wounds are the ones to your mind , heart , and too your spirit . Pain won't let you forget , pain demands to be felt.