Today I think we'll roast a man

'cause I hear they're juicy when hot.

We'll do so in our oven-pan

and cook him ready-or-not.

I think we'll skewer him down the middle

so we'll have an even roast.

It's okay if he shrivels a little

because crispy, he's good on toast.

We'll have some red wine to go with the meal.

I think he'll look dashing next to the veal.

And I hope to god his fat won't congeal

because that looks rather nasty.

Fifteen minutes will do just the trick

if we want his insides to boil.

His hair will light just like a wick

but the rest will be wrapped in tight foil.

Dinner tonight will be served right at five

and don’t be concerned if you're late.

Maybe if you are early you'll see him alive

but not at a later date.