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I Know You Know
I know you know
I know you’ve known for a while
I’ve known since the first time the green dot showed
I’ve known since the air was dry with the sweat of demons
I’ve known since long-ago-and-far-away
I’ve known through snakes of smoke minted fresh
I’ve known through dumplings and movies and poker
I’ve known when I didn’t known anything else
I’ve known when the street was quiet but for my headphones
I’ve known where the vermin happily crawl
I’ve known where balloons crash open
I didn’t always know I knew
But now I know
I know the scent of laughter mixed with chlorine
I know bubbles of pills crashing through tiles
I know mountain goats in the shower
I know brave cowards and cowardly martyrs
I know pain taken gladly upon
I know how to put it off
I know how to not know what it is
I know how to not care what it is
I how to feel when you don’t
I know how to feel what you don’t
I know what to feel
I’ve known you’ve known
And now you know
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This one is for Jettaka, who (I hope) now knows how I feel about her.