I smiled today when I saw your face on a picture, I haven't seen your picture in a while. I’ve changed alot since I last looked at your picture, but as I looked at your picture I felt like I hadn't changed at all and like you had never left me. Some nights I laid awake and thought of you beside me laughing and smiling and having a good time like we always use to. Sometimes I could've swore I saw you it looked so real. But I know it was just my imagination, there's no way it was you you're gone. And its almost been a year. But there still isnt a day that goes by that you dont cross my mind. You're like a bad nightmare that I never forget. Some nights I feel as if your spirit is in my room. Looking at me from across the room watching over me to make sure I don't make the same mistake that you did. And take my life away from my self at an early age. Some days when I feel like giving up I hear your voice telling me no it all feels so real. But I know its all in my head because you're gone and its only a little over a month away from one year that you've been gone. When you were here we didn't get to talk much, but you still meant the world to me. I always thought of you even tho you were still here. I’ll never forget the day they told me that you had taken your life away from yourself. I'll never forget the memories of you that rushed into my head. The tears that rolled down my cheeks. The way they smiled when they told me like it was no big deal that a kid their age that they all knew had taken his own life. I'll never forget looking at you laying in your coffin. Nobody else knew how you did it, but when I looked at you I knew right away what you had done. I ran out of that funeral home faster than I had ran in my whole life. I couldn't bring myself to go back up to your coffin. I could barely bring myself to go back in the building to grab my jacket. I remember at your funeral I cried like a baby that wanted to be held. Stay-Stay wrapped her arms around me and put my face on her pretty white dress. My tears and make-up stained her dress, she still can't get the eyeliner stains out. But thats not the point why I'm writing this. The point is I miss you and I just wish I could've talked to you one last time. I wish I could hear your voice again. I wish I could see your face in person. I wish I could've talked you out of it. I wish I coulda done something to save you. I wish I could just see you one more time and hug you and hear your voice. I miss you.