"Matt" he said. “My name is Matt”.
And then something changed. In that moment he began to see her change. His interest in the way she bit her lip and blinked her eyes all at the same time made him wonder what her soul was trying to say, and what her body was trying to hide.
"Does my presence make you nervous my love" he asked her. His eyes were fixated on her fingers that brushed across her face to free three blonde strands of hair caught in her mouth.
"The only thing that makes me nervous is the four letter word that your dear parents gave to you" she replied.
How could that of been he thought? How could a four letter word, chosen by the people that love him most, used purely for individuals to identify him, make her nervous?
And then she said something that reminded him of the day when he came home from school on that particular thursday and watched his father use his hands as a way of communicating and didn’t understand why his mother had blood smothered down her crotchet dress and begging.
"I have spent many months trying to banish that four letter word from my mind. A name that would make myself receive questions on why I had a limp in my walk on a Monday afternoon or why my lips were pierced blue. A name I would use much too often as my safe word and not enough as a cry for help. Oh my oh my please forgive the whiteness of my cheeks and the uneasy shaking coming before me. I am still learning that a name is just a name and that a hit should only be one hit and that you should never trust a man who’s mum doesn’t love him and doesn’t tell you why”.
And in that moment was when he truly knew that her heart was shattered and her mind was not all that clear.
"Let me help you my love" he said. "Let me be your four letter misery”.