if you love me don't tell me.
because if you do the words will repeat in my head over and over again like a damaged record player. and the pit of my stomach will hurt so much that I will start to feel uncomfortable. I will laugh and make it seem like a joke because I don't really want to know if you love me. honestly I have no idea how someone could possibly love me. but if you are cursed to, please don't. to burden you with the idea of me is painful why would you put yourself through that?

if you do love me and can't hide it, still don't tell me. show me. not with chocolate because they eventually get bad or flowers because they eventually wither away, show me with the small things. It doesn't have to be big, a simple smile would do. a look. just a look would show me you love me. maybe even holding my hand not just in public, but under the covers of our blanket. or saying my name just to say it and feel it roll off your tongue would suffice.

if you love me please just don't tell me. when I feel people getting close I run away, I always do. that's just what I do and I apologize for it. I don't know when I will stop running, but when I do (and if you really do love me) you'll be there at the end wondering why I took such a long time.