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Love and Other Wonders/ Love and Other Tragedies
It’s love, because when I look at him I don’t just see him, I see us.
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Be with someone who makes you wonder what good you did to deserve them.
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It’s a curious thing to love someone like him. At times of chaos he radiates calmness. And then, when all is completely still, there’s an unexplainable fierceness about him that is so infectious, it makes me want to set fire to clouds high above, although they have done nothing at all but swift softly by.
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On most days, like today, when the sun’s out, and the weather’s nice, and you can feel the light wind on your skin like whispered voices from the past, I think about him and I think about us.
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I often wonder about how miraculous love is. How you can so easily care for someone who is so different from yourself. How you can love another who is very similar to you, which can sometimes be more difficult. How you can continuously love someone who doesn’t deserve it. But then again, that seems less like a blessing and more like a curse. Although, maybe it can be both. Perhaps love can either be the best or the worst thing to happen to a person.
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One day you’re going to turn around and look behind you, only to realize that he had stopped following a long time ago.
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I want to be more than the person you run to when things have gone wrong. Why can’t I be the person you come to even when everything’s alright?
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We’ve been trying so hard to get back what we had, but we can’t, because it’s simply not there anymore.
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In our efforts to start over we ended up becoming strangers to one another.
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I can say “Don’t go”, but why would he stay? I can say “Don’t forget”, but what’s left to remember?
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Is there any point in holding on to something if the person on the other side has already let go?
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I’m sorry I didn’t get to be your happily ever after. But I’m mostly sorry that I thought I even had a chance.
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I smile because of that brief moment you hesitate before correcting someone who thought I was still yours. But don’t you notice that I am in no rush to inform them? I smile at your obvious discomfort when you don’t know how to act around me. In fact, can’t you tell that I’m just as confused? I smile because even after everything, you still get nervous when you talk to me. And if you were paying attention, you would see that I haven’t exactly looked you in the eyes the entire conversation. I smile because of the irony of it all: we are more together now than when we were together.
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