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Jealous
I see you there
So pretty, so popular
Short blonde hair
Shadows dancing on your face
Flickering light from the fire catches in your eyes
You're lovely.
Sweet sixteen
You toss your head back as you laugh
Pull out your flask
All eyes on you
As you drain it
The boys sit around you
Adoring you
Cheering, joking, shouting obscenities that swirl up into the night sky along with the smoke of the bonfire
Whiskey runs through your veins
And you seem to glow
You are young, you are immortal
And the alcohol brings you to life
You've got everything going for you
While I sit alone, ignored
Unwilling to even taste the elixir
That you partake of so often
That makes the boys long for you
That makes you so brave, so willing
I am
Jealous.
I see you there
Years later
A child, wide-eyed, clinging to your hand
Your hair is lank
Your face is shallow
Your eyes, once so bright
Now sink deep into caves
The purple bruises of sleepless nights hang underneath them
The purple bruises of unkind hands
Dot your arms, your neck
You are as drained as the bottles you emptied
Back when you were young
Immortal
And I wonder why
I was ever
Jealous.
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It's hard to not want to be like the popular kids, drinking and partying every weekend, the envy of everyone else. But later on in life, the person who sat alone at the edge of the bonfire will be the one who glows most brightly as an adult. Don't waste your time.