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Desiderium
  She lived in me, in a façade, dying memory
  Whispered in me, a visage, fading melody
  A living, breathing word
  In a rotten, suffering  world
  When she came the sun rose
  And when I was with her, time froze
  Being with her was being warm
  For she was fire
  She left like she came, suddenly
  And like before died the world, quietly
  And with that did she take the gleam
  That shining memoir from my dream
  She took the kill
  Used the drill
  Tore my heart out, made me ill
  And never again did I ever feel
  And thus, it came like this, endless desiderium
  Lodged deep inside, grafted in my cranium
  Of the unfathomable, unthinkable love
  That I foolishly gave to my dove
  Bereft of meaning
  With that so familiar feeling
  Of the long forgotten lore
  That which hurts, forevermore
  From there on out every single dream
  Tore apart ever-so-slowly my every seam
  And every cold blooded December night wrought her ghost upon the door
  And every longing summer day brought her voice upon the floor
  She left. She was overnight
  And my time of death feels nigh
  For she makes me want to scream
  But most of all, I just want to dream
  About the times when we were
  Betwixt and bare
  Only us in rare love
  In a dark, forgotten cove
  Apropos tis, I'd suppose
  And to sense it goes
  That such a pure feeling
  Is no more than me dreaming
  And so all the night tide
  I stay quiet and write lies
  And I hopelessly ponder
  And I worthlessly wonder
  About this love, endless desiderium
  That which is lost
  Forever, In my cranium
  I lie, haunted by this devil
  Endlessly bewitched, feeble
  By this unmistakable reason
  of eternal treason
  Cursed, without nepenthe
  The words in my head grow in density
  For when she left gone was the glow
  And this pain, it only grows
  Dedicated to my lost love, the one who got away
  Life goes on, yet failure stays
  And even though my common sense told me to stay awake
  What more can I do but forever dream in your space
  2 years did I dream of her embrace
  2 years did she make my heart race
  Yet all that’s well, dreams do reclaim
  And now, only ashes remain.
  
  For a dream is but a derelict wish
  And her memoirs escape, no leash
  And in the endless night do I cry her name
  On my knees, short of breath, my bane.
  
  When the sun hides, she comes
  And ethereal beauty, she dons
  With a smile so bright
  The stars pale in fright
  With each step she strides
  Her beauty, she does not hide
  The dark she scuds, gently
  In my eyes she sunk, quickly
  
  Her name does rest upon my chest
  Branded with a hot iron, it rests
  The scalding hurt grows stronger
  Yet I want it to last longer.
  
  Whatever I must do to keep her
  Close to me, it’s only fair
  For any other way, I wouldn’t dare
  She’s my soul, my light glare
  
  But now she’s gone. She’s gone again
  And but a single word reverberates: pain
  Of incompletion, the space she late
  Of loneliness, my current state
  
  My soul, bouleversement doth bare
  Disarray, pell-mell thoughts for share
  She held the key to my sanity
  With her utmost beauty, sanctity
  
  My soul screams for substance, anodyne
  Yet finds none, instead ravaged, asinine
  Impeccable once, hallowed and might
  Yet now rotten and fusty, haggard and blight
  
  Oh, life, this daily strife
  What a sudden twist, a sharpened knife
  To think once I could master you
  When in reality, it wasn’t true
  
  By the coast did we watch
  And her arms, around me, did latch
  The sundown, in all its might
  With ember, auburn-strewn light
  
  It illuminated her hair, so bright
  Only rivaled by her smile, so right
  And as I held her close, felt her skin
  I closed my eyes, in her did I sink
  I dreamt of golden rays
  Showering olden bays
  And superfluous, oleaginous waves
  Dancing, prancing in gorgeous ways
  
  Sometimes in summer
  At times in spring
  Time’s a runner
  Yet memories bring
  
  The warmth of feeling
  Her close to me
  When winter’s reeling;
  Corrupted, sick
  
  I dreamt and dreamt
  And dreamt some more
  Bliss and hope, I felt
  In its purest form
  
  And betwixt these dreams
  Did prevail a single gleam
  Of her; her slender frame
  This hallowed, silken dame
  
  Yes all these are memories
  Far gone, left pain with no remedies
  For her scent and essence
  Are dead; no longer present

 
I wrote this for a poetry contest. Though ill-fated, i've grown fond of it. Please tell me what you think