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After You
After we shut the lights off,
After she fell asleep,
I was still awake.
I would crawl out of the covers
And peer out the window.
The pane smelled of
Winter and old wood.
I could see clear down the mountain,
Lights of the city glimmered in the snowy night.
And when the clouds parted
From the other mountaintop,
I would gaze at the star
Perched on its peak.
And I would rest my head on my arms
Until my eyes became too heavy.
And I slid back into bed,
Only after I saw the star.
As I peer at the star for the last time,
I long for you again.
The stickers on your furniture
Only claim so much.
Of all the things, I would place my stickers
On this window,
On this view,
On this star,
And carry it with me everywhere. But
After this,
After you,
We are the only things left.
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I wrote this in response to the sudden death of my grandmother. Her house was in the mountains and the view from the room I stayed in looked over the whole valley. Directly across the city, there is a mountain topped with a giant star. Every time we visited on Christmas, I would make sure to look at the star before I went to sleep.