Five years old, my favorite game is something I call make-pretend
This game is a world in itself
Where everything exists in the palm of my hand
And everything is innocent
Words like war and hate are obsolete
Because this game all depends on one thing and that is happiness
And the adventures are endless
There are mountains to climb, rainforests to explore, fairy tale dances to attend
See, the only condition was that I deny reality
That“adult” world in existence around me
And thus I could live happily
ever
after

Fast forward ten years later,
and I am still playing this game of pretend.
But now the mountains are smaller and across them I see valleys
And the rainforests are thinning everyday
And the dances are never quite as extravagant
But I pull the blinds over my eyes
And convince myself that everything is as it should and has been.

But the ghost of truth will always haunt me
And the truth is that-
I am a liar.
And the truth is that I live in a carnival full of liars,
Who, like me, are denying the reality of a world falling to pieces.
We are all living the lie that
If we just pretend,
And somehow fake our way through this pain,
That our problems will just cease to exist.
We’re gluing hard shells over hollow hearts
Hoping to hide the brokenness living inside
Saying things like,
“everything is great, everything is fine”
Out of sight is out of mind.

But what about the girl with scars on both arms, alone, yet surrounded by people?
Look the other way.
It’s alright.
And what about that man who is begging on the street corner
Clothes tattered, tired, worn
Sign says, “hasn’t worked for four months”
Look the other way
It’s alright.
Kids are being sold into slavery
the family just down the street is hungry
And the boy on your right hates his own life
And all we say is
Just look away
Just Turn your head
And everything will be okay.

But tell me,
when was it ever okay?
When were you ever just okay?
When you felt
alone, abandoned, rejected, abused, neglected, forgotten, beaten, bruised
All you said was,
“I’m good. How are you?”

Seven billion souls are screaming out
and their screams are drowned by the silence of the proud.
All we are doing is making the screams louder and louder and louder
Until they become nothing more than traffic noise.

But I am determined to make my scream heard.
And I will strain my ears until i can hear the screams of those around me.
Because I cannot play this game of pretending any longer
I refuse to be called a liar
I refuse to burn in the flames of this epidemic fire.
I will take down the canopy
Draped around me
Like a shield blocking out the swords of the enemy.
Because all along

I have been the enemy.

So I will submit to the shame of honesty
and with it I will bury
that game I once called
make-pretend.