Now I will write about something that is killing me,
Something that no one can know, not even family.
I made a promise to the devil and a promise to myself.
What happened in his bed will remain in my head,
As if nothing ever happened,
Like he never indulged,
I will wake up and pretend the moments never existed.
For you are my secret,
My love affair waiting,
Only you will know the deception that surrounds me,
The lies i tell to make this okay.
Thinking of the times helps to quiet the thoughts,
Then they rush in all at once.
You lay in her bed and tell her everything's alright,
But i know exactly what fills your head.
I am the only one who sees the real you,
Past the mask into what is true.
So lie one more time,
You can always stop tomorrow,
But for tonight you'll be fine pushing me out of your head,
Kissing her lips with the taste of mine still on your tongue.
This is easy for you,
But my mind is different,
Like a crowd of people so loud,
It drowns your own voice out.