I have never been good with my
Words but I am good with my
Hands and my hands can write

So my mind will write all that
My mouth cannot say.

I trip over my sentences like
A cat on an upturned carpet corner.
I stumble and mumble
Like my tongue walks with a limp.

So my mind will write all that
My mouth cannot say

Because my mouth is
Slow but my fingers are nimble.
I’ve never felt at home in my home but
I first felt home when I learned to
Write.
The loops of the cursive letters that hung from
Thumbtacks as they lined the ceiling like
Sentinels in an army glided
Over my paper like they were supposed to be there.
Like I was supposed to be there.
Like this is what I was supposed to be doing.

So my mind will write all that
My mouth cannot say

Because my filter no longer works.
Because my filter is filled with grinds and the crunched
Coffee beans float on the surface of my
Mug, a surface they were never meant to touch.
I was never meant to touch
Fire, but I did anyways, and my skin paid
The consequences.
I was never meant to touch the
Heart of another, but I did anyways, and he paid
The consequences of my recklessness.
Words spilled through my torn filter, words
I never should have said. Words
He never should have heard. Words
I wish I could take back but never can, never
Will. I blame my filter, but I should really blame
Myself.

So my mind will write all that
My mouth cannot say

Because words from my mouth cannot be erased like
Words from my hands. My regret words hang
Over me like a cinematic piano, ready to crush me at
Any given moment.
And sometimes, they do.
My words can cut like knives but I have been
Stabbed too.
I would never throw those knives if
I could go back.
Sometimes I think others might throw more.

So my mind will write all that
My mouth cannot say

Not because my mouth cannot speak, but because
Sometimes it should not. My opinions, my
Thoughts leak like water from an inverted funnel
Sometimes.
Sometimes, they are just opinions and should
Be left in my skull where they belong.

So my mind will write all that
My mouth cannot say

Because both are flawed,
But one I can edit.