She is afraid.
Of what?
Not heights, spiders, or monsters.
Not fear itself
Death
Such an ugly word.
People use it so often and yet there is so much sadness weighing the word down
That is the fear that rips through her heart,
Like a dagger dipped in poison.
Death

It’s a different kind of fear.
More like terrified...
Some people are afraid to die,
but she is not.
Because what she is afraid of is herself.
When she looks in the mirror she doesn’t see her own face
She see’s the darkness inside of her consuming her body,
covering her face as if it were dark clouds in the night sky
She doesn’t think that she will ever trust herself with a gun in her hand,
so yes, she is terrified

Because all it takes is one second
One second to pull the trigger
One second to slash her wrists
One second to swallow those pills
She’s gone.

Where will she go?
Heaven? Hell?
You don’t know and you don’t care
“She was just a stupid  sad girl who had nothing to be sad about”
“She just wanted attention”
“It was her own damn fault”
Death

Maybe she will get the front page in the newspaper.
Her face will be plastered everywhere, like graffiti  on the streets
She would never know
She would be gone because of that one second.
Death
It took one second to cut her wrists
One second to swallow those pills
One second for her to put the barrel to her head and pull the damn trigger
Why?
Why would she end her life full of so much potential?
That is a mystery.

But there is something I do know.
We will not stop fighting
We will not give in to the demons inside of our heads,
because we are stronger than that.
Because our lives will not be handed to Death
He will have to come get them himself.
Only we can control what happens to us,
and we say,
“Life”

Now read from the bottom up…(when you read the poem from top to bottom, it is what society thinks the thought process of someone going through these tough times is but when reading from bottom up, it is the reality.)