1. I was born.
I was new to this world, with a blank slate
You were dirty.
2. I was 1
I encountered another woman I would once call mom
3. I was 2
My dad married the woman I would look up to
The woman who would be my role model
The woman who wasn’t you
The woman who could never be you
4. I was 4
What now is a vague memory
But is still burned in my mind
He hits you.
5. I was 5
We were jumping on the bed
you looked sternly
But we continued
you hit me.
6. I was 5
You were on the ground
She came for me and my sister
You were crying
I didn’t see for months
I was confused
7. I was 6
There was a new boyfriend, I liked him
But of course you screwed it up
8.I was 7
Another boyfriend a new adventure
His name was Joe
I liked him
But he had issues
And yelled at us
9. I was 8
The couple I thought would never break, broke
My outlook on life was contorted
You corrupted my mind
I blame you
10. I was 10
I found your needles in a bag
Better yet
They were in my closet
11. I was 13
You went to rehab to fix yourself
And I somehow still missed you
I somehow still cried for you
12. I was 14
You went to jail
You wrote me letters
I never replied, only read
My birthday was around the corner
You congratulated me on becoming 16
I turned 15
13. I was 15
I stopped talking to you.
It’s been almost a year
You said you’d never do it again
But there were burnt spoons in your room again
14. I am 16
I still haven’t talked to you since the funeral
You said you’ve stopped
But there were burnt spoons in your room again
Let me say one thing
I am utterly disgusted to call you my biological mother
You don’t have the right to be called a mother
You don’t have the right to be called my mother
I am disgusted to even have been birthed by you
I hope you know that.