Sometimes at night I lay awake and think of him. All the kisses we shared. I wonder if he actually ever cared. I wonder if I will ever find someone who loved me as much as he did... I wonder if that was fake love... if it was he was a pretty good actor. Eventually I drift of into a dreamless sleep. What’s the point of dreaming if he wont be there anymore? When I wake up, I wonder if today is the day he’ll start talking to me again. He said he still loved me... is that still true? A part of me believed it was until he said he loved his best friend... he’s moved one... and yet just last week he kissed me... He took my heart and clawed at it until it bled. I hide my emotions from him, not that he’d care. I wish he’d tell me the reason why he stopped loving me... that’d be fair. These walls are closing in on me, I can barely breath. I try to claw my way out, until my finger bleed. These walls are my mind. The place where I can’t hide from my emotions any longer. I tried to hid what I felt inside from him once again but he broke through my shell. I told him I tried to take my life... I didn’t tell him I just sat one my bed trying to think of a reason to stay. When he hugged me it made me so much more happy to be in his arms once again. But he didn’t really care. If he did he’d realize he’s the reason why I fell back to my old habits. I was doing so well and them he tripped my and I fell. For a while he was my reason to live but then he was the reason I wanted to die and leave this world. I would cry myself to sleep wonder why I wasn’t good enough for him. He doesn’t love me anymore but I still love him and so this is a dark and twisted love. The kind that will eventually kill you...