There is instinct
And  there is knowledge
That is what a friend once side
A friend who has bought my fears to the surface

Though he wasn’t trying
He did so in a way that hurt
Like a carpet burn when you crash
To the floor with such force

But this was a different burn
It not only hurt the skin
It hurt the mind
He had cracked my safe

I woke up and saw a new world
A world that was depressive
A world full of fear
A world full of self hate

I walked around all day
With two new friends
One was good but hardly spoke
One was bad but spoke the most

I carried them with me
And he pulled away
Away from friends
Away from lifes color

I didn’t understand
I knew my fears were noticed
I knew they were now in the open
I knew that they were now someone else's

I wanted to speak
But fear pulled
Fear tugged
Fear kept me from explaining

The good voice tried his best
But he couldn’t make it through
While the bad voice laid there
Mocking,shouting,cursing,pounding

I was broken
I was scared
I realised my safe
Was now cracked

What had I feared most?
Someone seeing my insides
Someone taking me from behind
Someone moving my protective shade

He looked in my eyes
He saw there was no twinkle
He saw there’d been one
But now it was lost

He didn't mean to but he did
He didn’t want the distance
He wanted to tell the truth
And the truth is what was told

The bad voice said something
I will never forget it
He said “It’s your fault!
You killed your grandmother!”

Was that what tortured me?
Is that what was hiding?
Is that what hid my twinkle?
Was this what was deep inside?

I had to speak
I had to pull from fear
And tell them why
Why I was so distant

And when I did to my surprise
They understood it all
They said they’d been there
They said that everything would be ok

He apologized and said
“I didn’t mean to break you”
But in it all
I feel like I’m better

I have many more fears
And I know that somehow
Somewhere,some way
I can face them when needed