Do you ever think about the people you lost?
the ones who still walk through life just not yours
because they decided to open the door to out a long time ago
they chose the path where the road forked and you were swept into the other with no choice
their shallow steps still echo in the hallways of your brain -insane
but they don’t hear your path crumbling or read words with your voice or feel lightening strike when someone says your name
no montage of memories when you happen upon a piece of the past or pass the places you memorized each other together
because you see their house and see your ghostly footprints on the stair through the window and they see home and they see it without you
because mainframe sustained standing tall without you so effortlessly for them as you still see the outline of their impact on your life in every shade and color possible
because they are still so real in your life but to them you were a fantasy part of dreamland fades away the minute their eyes open and you’re still seeing things upside down and empty because their name still carries a wait is heavy it makes your heart sink and your head hurt
enough weight to knock the wind out of your chest and the air escapes but the memories stay
and you find your mind coiling around the idea that they have the ability to walk through a door that leads to your path because you left it open but all know they closed the door behind them and you were lost in a good bye they didn’t have the courtesy to say so you just have to look at them across the ocean and remember that they had the choice to leave because you had the capacity to lose and not the ability to forget