The world always seems different after someone hurts you
Especially if it's someone close
You look at your best friend
And start counting the number of people she would have left to love if you weren’t here
(In case you were wondering, it's a lot)
You look at your place in the world
And start ranking the importance of your existence on a level
From V8 to the lungs that make you breathe
And suddenly you wish you didn’t have those anymore
People keep telling you
“It’s not your fault”
“They don’t realize what they passed up on”
And my personal favorite
“Just forget about them”
But how can I forget about them when I see them in the hallways every day
When their voice echoes in my head
Constantly reminding me of how much of a screw up I am
Because if someone who loves me feels this way
Someone who barely even knows me must want me to burn in hell
I used to wake up to your face every day
And I still do
But it’s your face that haunts my dreams-nightmares
That I’m forced to wake up to
Along with
Tear-streaked cheeks
Red-dyed eyes
And too-young lungs
You were a flower
Blooming in the midst of a hurricane
You were all I had to hold onto
A rope attached to sanity
Since you left
The rope is now wrapped around my neck
It could be attached to heaven or hell
I don’t really care these days
Because you’ve told me I belonged in both
But the place I urge to belong
Is between your legs
Licking our love off the sheets