Here I go again, writing about you
Just when I thought I was through
You don’t care, so how come I do?
Feels like my situation’s become askew
My mind has me tied and subdued
Now I don’t know what I’m supposed to do
Part of me thinks there were things left unsaid
Part of me thought what I felt for you was dead
I’m surprised you still linger in my head
Told me I was good enough, but I can’t let myself believe what you said
You were the one who went and left me
Then we were barely friends, you know exactly what I mean
And as far as I can see
I had all the reason to stop and leave
So why do I lament?
The pain from seeing you is too frequent
Leaving was never my first intent
You said you’d change, but kept up the torment
I told you how I felt
Your promises seemed heartfelt
Leaving was the hand I was dealt
I’ve become too tired
Don’t know why I can’t see I’m something you don’t desire
Crazy how pain from you gets me so inspired,
To keep writing these poems
It’s easy for me to get lost in my swirl of emotions
Sometimes there’s no motion, I become frozen
And just for a moment,
I honestly feel like I miss you
But you’re someone I can’t go back to
Or are you?
How long has it been, a month or two?
I guess time really flew
Sometimes I wish I knew
If I’m ever on your mind
Truthfully, I feel like I was too kind
Perhaps when we started it was ill-timed
Yeah, it was definitely rushed
If only we stopped and truly discussed
Maybe we would’ve been able to adjust
Might’ve done away with the distrust
But that’s all what if, it won’t happen
For you, I felt true passion
I know I made dumb and immature actions
I know I didn’t give you enough satisfaction
And I know I didn’t talk a lot
Well sorry, social awkwardness is what I’ve got
Wish you told me what you really thought
You told lie after lie, right?
Certainly didn’t help shed any light
So here I am, getting myself to write
Battling me and myself, it’s no easy fight
But maybe I’m wrong
Here I thought I could be strong
And do my best to move on
And here I am questioning
The voices get deafening
Wish I could say the pain’s lessening
Honestly, it isn’t
Still stuck inside a prison
And despite being driven
Something still feels missing
Trying to make a decision
I’m in a difficult position
Am I losing my ambition?
Lost in my division
I’m no good in this condition
Feels like I’ve become more deficient
Wish my end goal didn’t feel so distant
Writing doesn’t feel sufficient
I was knocked down, don’t know if I’ve risen
I want to achieve what I’ve envisioned
Achieving an end to this transposition
I need answers to finish this expedition
But maybe my answers lie where I’ve already written