You are selfish they say
Their last memory of you
A negative one
And I hate it
The idea that people called you selfish
Your actions do affect the people around you, yes
And many people do feel hurt but
How can they be mad that you couldn't hold the weight of the world on your shoulders
How can they blame you when you say what everyone else says
But you weren't bluffing
I don't like that simply because the way you went out that the last thought people have of you is selfish
And maybe
Just maybe the reason I feel so strong about this is because I’ve been pretty close to your own situation
That I hated the idea of being the bad guy in death
But never felt like the good guy in life
I now know never to do this to people
I'm just sorry you were my white board that got written on in permanent marker just so I could be taught a lesson
I will never add your name to this poem
Never felt it was right to bring up Trayvon Martin in a black lives matter poem
And I guess this is the same thing
I don't name drop in my poems so people listen
But when I say I miss you
I miss how you always cared when I was down even though you barely knew me
Or how you invited me to my first party
Or how I saw you as a great person to look up to
We weren't all that close
But I wish we could have been
Like if we talked just a little more
Maybe I could have caught the signs you surely must have left us
And I'm sorry