It always starts off like this

so close that you cant breath
you want to be closer
but you can't
if you really wanna ruin a friendship the best way to do so is trying too hard to fix it
or maybe it telling them how you feel
or maybe, just maybe it’s showing them the real you
I can’t remember
but i've learned if you really wanna ruin a friendship
to the point where they don't talk to you
to the point where you're their shadow
to the point where they are running
and you can’t stay close enough to be their shadow
But I find the best way is doing all three
I met a girl in 1st grade that I was convinced i'd spend the rest of my life with
I’m in 9th grade and somehow I still think that
I promised i wouldn't have my first kiss till it was with her
I kept that promise
but once again i'm in 9th grade and the idea of dying without my first kiss seems to force itself to my attention every time i'm alone 
like somehow I had thought i'd have a girl with so many hopes and dreams to follow me
when it's hard enough to convince my shadow to do the same