I will conquer | Teen Ink

I will conquer

April 22, 2011
By x_Topscore_x BRONZE, Cocoa, Florida
x_Topscore_x BRONZE, Cocoa, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils" ... - Louis Hector Berlioz


Ares god of Sparta,

Ares, god of war,

Leading a life,

Blood and gore,

Shattering bones like waves,

Upon the shore.

A malicious smile,

He completes his daily chore.

Sparta cheers as their lord approaches,

The generals stand tall,

with their golden broaches,

Watching silently as there lord encroaches,

The drums begin to pound,

As Athena lays down her crown,

With a grin of vengeance he calls

“Surely today, Athens will fall.”


The author's comments:
Part of this poem came to me at about three in the morning when I probably should have been sleeping, But I gotta` admit I really like the ending of this one. Any advice or constructive criticism is always welcome. ^.^

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This article has 6 comments.


on Jul. 18 2011 at 10:38 am
x_Topscore_x BRONZE, Cocoa, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils" ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

No problem :3 thanks for the comments!

k.s.h. GOLD said...
on Jul. 18 2011 at 9:18 am
k.s.h. GOLD, Depauw, Indiana
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
Two roads diverged in a wood and I--I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.<br /> <br /> <br /> Robert Frost

Well, sometimes you call yourself Sammy and you look like someone I know named Sam who does stuff there.  Weird!  Well, sorry for bothering!

on Jul. 17 2011 at 9:59 am
x_Topscore_x BRONZE, Cocoa, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils&quot; ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

Cant say I have ^.^

k.s.h. GOLD said...
on Jul. 15 2011 at 12:33 pm
k.s.h. GOLD, Depauw, Indiana
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
Two roads diverged in a wood and I--I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.<br /> <br /> <br /> Robert Frost

Sorry, this is really weird, but do you do plays at Hayswood Theatre?

on Jul. 13 2011 at 9:46 am
x_Topscore_x BRONZE, Cocoa, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils&quot; ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

thank you very much for the comment :3

k.s.h. GOLD said...
on Jul. 13 2011 at 8:14 am
k.s.h. GOLD, Depauw, Indiana
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
Two roads diverged in a wood and I--I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.<br /> <br /> <br /> Robert Frost

It is very, very good but I do have constructive criticism for you: try to work on rhythm and balance.  That's about it!