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Here.
Don’t you know what you did? Why couldn’t you hold your tongue?
Sometimes I think you thought, you meant, meant to hurt me, meant to burn me.
Sometimes I think you meant for my tears, when losing you became my greatest fear,
Why aren’t you here?
And then I think, I really think, I think and then I blink,
To blink away the tears, tears cried over a king,
A king undeserving, deserving not my tears,
And I speak these words of wisdom as someone past my years,
But still you’re gone.
Why aren’t you here?
And as my eyes, wells as they are, keep having water brought to the surface,
And as I look back upon all we had, I still get butterflies, get nervous.
As I reminisce, I think, “Why must I do this, I hurt myself just so,”
But then I remember, oh that time in December, and I remember how I love you.
But even with that love, still, whispered in my ear, lurking, lurking,
I see that you seem to be, oh, the Demon whom I fear. Yet still-
Why aren’t you here?
And as my eyes shan’t run dry too soon,
And as I cry, I’m my own personal monsoon,
And as I try to recall how wrong you really were-
You were still a first, you were still mine,
And mines hold emerald, diamonds, other gorgeous things,
But mines hold danger, and mines collapse before the diamonds are on rings.
And you, you fell, as all things do, in time, but as you fell I was crushed, trapped,
But on the inside. Outside I was free, a bird winged and above,
Yet inside, be I a prisoner? A prisoner of love.
And even though I no longer have you, and I should be released,
Oh still I am trapped, for, oh, still I ask, why, my dear,
Why aren’t you here?
Now I suppose ‘here’ is a thing of relativity, and only relativity,
For if we speak of here as it is in my heart then there you are, ripping it apart,
Yet if we speak of here as within yours? There is no ‘me’, closed is my door.
Banished was I, in under a day, banished because of the words I did say.
And there she is, in the space I once was, there she is, finding her way in as she does.
And you blame her for this demise? I suppose it’s to be expected, not even a surprise.
But maybe if you thought instead of simply circumventing your problems,
Then maybe you could realize you were the one who truly did condemn.
It’s your fault, you did it, it isn’t the fault in ourselves or our stars,
But the faults in our actions, which create faults in our hearts.
And as you can see, in anger now I pen this,
I can think, having you not here, I shall not miss.
So you’re not here.
It’s your loss not mine. It’s your problem not mine,
And yes I may miss having someone to miss me, someone to kiss me,
But I hear you moved on, and so I shall too, and now with my time I know what I shall do!
I’ll smile and I’ll laugh and continue on my way,
And with that I’ll bid you a sweet, swift, good day!
I’ll create my own now, create my own here.
And I will stop these silly wells,
So flooded, spilling tears.
Farewell to you is what I now whisper,
And you better bet,
You’re going to miss her.
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