Just Red | Teen Ink

Just Red

May 17, 2021
By PaytonkMarie BRONZE, Montgomery, Illinois
PaytonkMarie BRONZE, Montgomery, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

It took five months, to finally sort out the emotions. 

The story continued, but the Pages Never Ended.

I changed in so many ways, I don’t recognize who I used to be

And it certainly wasn’t for you, but I don’t think it was for me.

Five months since we were Strangers, and now we’re talking again

Giving fleeting Apologies before we can forget what we were doing

Trying again isn’t an option, at least not one that’s open now

“But being Friends would be worth it if it meant we don’t have to be Monsters.”


I don’t know if you were ever comfortable with yourself, but I know that I only got further from being comforted by even the thought of me

It seems you’re doing better, I can see that in your words

You still don’t ask if I’m Okay, but I always took care of myself anyways


I don’t wonder late at night anymore

Because there’s nothing I could’ve done for that outcome

I was irrational, I wasn’t seeing it all fully, I was jumping without ever looking

I was mad at you, I claimed to never cherish you, but I did, and that was what made me hate you.

I couldn’t bring myself to resent you, only to hate the fact that you seemed happy, without me, without my presence. 

Our colors never mixed, I was always purple that was A Shade Too Blue

I can’t tell if you truly changed, or if you’re still just Red. 


I’ve come to realize how much control we really don’t have

Where our futures lead, where our presence stays

We have no control over what others do or say

We have even less on what they think about us

We can only influence, never take the lead

We can only stand by and hope what happens isn’t the end

That the line of communication doesn’t flatten and go dead. 


I have no clue what the butterflies really were

I have no clue if I want to be with you anymore

Your answer was long and it was just a loud “I’m sorry”

It felt right but so wrong, and I feel like you use me

WIth you I am trapped, to wait forevermore

Until you tell me “I’ve moved on” and release me from your hold.


So until then, I am not Magenta 

I and a Shade Too Blue

But no matter what I am or what you’ve said

You’re still Just Red.


The author's comments:

I wrote this in response to another set of lyrics I wrote, which was in response to a boy breaking up with me after explaining in detail how he would do it. This piece takes place after five months of ghosting and then reconnecting. Going through the stages of 'is this really a new person I'm talking to, or are they just trying to start over so they could pick up where they left off?' My goal has always been to be a singer and a writer, so writing poetry based on my music just makes sense. I view poetry and lyrics as two different things that shouldn't be mixed together directly but can mingle together to find a middle ground. Poetry is not a song, but it is music. Lyrics are not poems, but they are stories. I try to find balance in that while writing, and I hope it shows. 


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