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What's Wrong?

February 13, 2012
By Special-Ice-Apples GOLD, Pinedale, Arizona
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Special-Ice-Apples GOLD, Pinedale, Arizona
15 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Love is just a word until someone special comes along and gives it a meaning.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;I love walking in the rain, &#039;cause then no one can tell I&#039;m crying.&quot;<br /> <br /> &quot;Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.&quot;

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Why are you so distant?
Sometimes it's like you aren't even here
I'll say something with good intent
You give me a piercing glare
Oh why won't you tell me what's wrong?
Don't care if your explanations short or long
I just want something to hold on to
I want to know what's going on
So baby I'll be singing this song
Over and over again
Until you tell me.....
What's Wrong

© Brianna L., Marblehead, MA

The author's comments:
I know it's short, but it was on my mind when I was arguing with a friend of mine.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 4 comments.

Eshshah PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 24 2012 at 1:44 pm
Eshshah PLATINUM, Galloway, New Jersey
32 articles 31 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.&quot; -Robert Frost

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I love the title- it fits so well with the piece, and catches your eye. The poem itself is raw and well crafted. the sentences seem a little broken up, but I think that's because of TI's formatting. It's a little short for a song, but I can totally see it as a first verse/ chorus thing... overall- 5 stars.
Clg1688 said...
on Apr. 6 2012 at 3:07 pm
Clg1688, Tucson, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 10 comments
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I like this!

I can relate to it actually. 

This sense of frustration is what I'm getting from the poem.

:)

ShyWriting42 BRONZE said...
on Mar. 15 2012 at 6:44 pm
ShyWriting42 BRONZE, Mesquite, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure...We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.&quot;

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I think you did a good job with this poem. On a level, I could almost see what was going on. That said, I think it you would have been able to make an amazing connection if was just a little longer and was more descriptive. Still, I liked this. 
Reignbow.Rebel BRONZE said...
on Mar. 5 2012 at 5:37 pm
Reignbow.Rebel BRONZE, DeWitt, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;MY DOLLY IS GOING TO DIE!!!!&quot;~Alex Sawyer

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This was amazing! Thpugh you should lengthn it! I wish I could here it in real life! Good job! :D