Snuggled up on the bottom step at age three with dad
for our daily nap,
Slap in the face at age seven
for telling mom “no, you can’t make me do that”,
Brat is what they called me when I told them what to do
even when it wasn’t meant to be rude,
Food was always a happy place
but little did I know that would be a disadvantage at age thirteen.

Between school and sports I have no life
I came home and did homework
like every other kid,
Amid all the drama and petty talk thru the hallways,
Days seemed shorter when I was younger,
Hunger for the feeling of cool wind blowing on my face
and scraps filled with dirt
that would leave behind a scar
to one day be the cool story I tell at lunch, 
Bunch my hands up in fists from the heat boiling inside me
threatening to escape at any second,
Reckon that life can only get better from here on.

At age fourteen do I feel

as if the world wants to push me down
to the deep insides of its stomach
where the flames our livid with hate
just so I can feel something other than depression, 
Self-expression hidden so no one would ask
¨what's wrong¨?
cause the story would be too long,
Gone to another planet inside my mind
where life isn’t as s***ty,
carefree in the sense that I can live my life
knowing I’ll be happy moving forward,
Your world is my world
and sometimes I’d wish I was never born.

At age fifteen
the odds will never be in my favor,
Savor the feeling of deep regret
like the sting of a paper cut between your toes
or the sensation of not being able to feel air 
go through your lungs
Slowly dying
Awkward  when my mom asks
why she got a phone call saying
I don’t quit seem myself,
Shelf filled with all my books on pain,
Like a train on an endless track
going absolutely nowhere,
Swear that someday things will be different
but as for now I’m only fifteen. 

Fifteen is just an age
and to some I know nothing
so they say words to hurt me,
Buzzing in my ear like a mosquito
that won’t go away,
Say that everything's going to be okay,
Affray everyday with myself in my head,
My bed being the only place
I can find comfort anymore,
Store my feelings inside to hide
I'm sorry...