Intentionally Poor Grammar, Silicone, and Bioengineering: A Tale of Brains versus Beauty


My popcorn is popped, the remote control is grasped tightly in my hand, and I am ready to watch my guilty pleasure. America’s Most Smartest Model, purposefully grammatically incorrect, focuses on a horribly addictive tale of partially plastic people attempting to prove their braininess to a pair of critical judges. Only one will go on to fame and fabulousness as a real-life model. Every Sunday night, we are greeted by the beautiful, yet clinically obnoxious competitors, each intent upon winning at all costs. Hundreds of applicants applied, but only those thought to provide the most drama, as in most reality shows, were chosen to compete for the title.

The producers insist that a moral message is woven into the photo shoots and tantrums, saying, “no one has it worse than models. True or not, we all assume that models are stupid. In fact, we want them to be stupid. We need them to be stupid because life would be too unfair if the beautiful people were smarter than us”. They wish for us to change our views of the ‘beautiful people’: don’t hate them, let them prove you wrong! This show may not do the message justice. Of the 14 challengers, the most educated has already been voted off due to poor behavior, and the remaining participants choose to spend their time creating childish alliances, mainly because of Andre, a proud, belligerent ‘Soviet’. It is safe to assume that he will not win; a Russian should know that the USSR hasn’t existed for decades.

While I find some of the male models attractive, and envy some of the female models, I cannot vouch for their intelligence. When a judge asked Mandy Lynn, a silicone-cast mannequin, for the term used to describe an animal that eats only vegetation, she answered, “Dinosaurs?” and proceeded to giggle manically. I believe I rest my case. Casting directors choose their actors and actresses purely for their entertainment value, as this is the catalyst for good ratings, and good ratings mean big bucks for those in charge. Obviously, one or two partially qualified people have to be accepted so that a winner may be chosen without controversy, but the overall goal of a reality TV show is not to teach good morals, no matter what the producers might tell you. They seem only to cater to your interests so that you may support the program.

There are two messages that can be derived from this show. The first I have explained to you- that the not-so-intelligent, somewhat immature are given roles on reality shows regardless- but the latter is something I truly find peace in. IN this competition, we see the models staring blankly at a locked door, desperately racking their brains for the answer that will allow them to open it, when the clue is a simple algebraic equation. There are only a few people who drive down the highway and see their dazzlingly white grins plastered across billboards, or open a magazine to see a picture of themselves in haute couture on a catwalk. What happens to the unlucky masses of gorgeous people who have dreamt so long of fantastic runway shows and multi-million dollar deals with the top design houses? The ones who ‘make it’ have the ability to do so for a reason. Not only can they show off the beauty of a piece of clothing, but they also they have a perfect combination of book smarts and street smarts: they can handle career pressures and situations intelligently and with great dignity and poise. So, while the show in itself seems to be an entertainment machine, one may look past the raucous few gracing the screen and realize that, maybe, just maybe, a true moral can be found. It is an adage that those of us at Laurel could learn to thrive upon in this twisted world of eating disorders, celebutantes and MTV: Brains beat out beauty any day.