Walls passed by me quickly as I made my way to the bus. I was going pretty fast, since I wanted to see him. If he's on the other side of the school, running's basically the only option.
I glanced upward, and my heart pounded rapidly. It was him! He was impossible to miss: messy, brown hair, very tall for an eighth grader. He had skipped the school exit, so I figured he must have forgotten something.
Glad to see him before I left, I smiled at him like I always did. Since I'm an oblivious person, I didn't expect him to turn around and start walking with me.
"Oh! Wait, y-you're walking with me today! That's so sweet!" I exclaimed giddily. Then I felt stupid for being surprised about it. We'd been dating for a year and nine months now; why was this surprising?
He nodded and laughed a little, but it seemed forced. "Yeah..." he muttered.
I glanced at him skeptically. His eyes were cast downward, and he seemed a little... upset.
"What's wrong?" I asked. He shook his head and opened the door for me as we walked out.
"I need to tell you something..." he stated. I gazed into his beautiful, blue eyes for a moment. "What?"
He started walking more slowly, so I did the same. "I-I think we need to... I mean, I think it's time we...."
Then it hit me, just like the bowling ball I'd felt when I realized I'd liked him. I stopped walking, hardly able to move. I felt frozen, trapped. "Are you...?"
"Kind of," he finished. "I just-I think we should see other people. But it's not 'goodbye,' it's 'see you in a while.'"
I didn't respond. What could I say? What could I do? The tears weren't coming yet, but my body was shaking crazily. How in the world did this happen?
Noticing my freezing, he whispered my name gently. I shook my head fiercely and darted for the bus as fast as I could.
After I got on, I started bawling like a two-year-old getting their toy stolen. My head was cramped in between the seat in front of me and the window; I couldn't stand being anywhere but in the corner. All I could think the whole ride was, "Why? What did I do?"
Once we reached the elementary school, one of my guy-friends came up to me and sat beside me. "What's wrong?"
It took me forever to stop sobbing enough to talk. Finally, I stuttered, "H-h-he b-broke up w-w-with m-me!"
He sighed, then put his arm around me. Not in a "liking me" way, but in a friend way. I explained to him what he'd said, and he replied, "When guys say stuff like that, it usually just means they're in a bad situation and can't handle it when dating somebody. You're gonna be okay. Do you want me to call you later?"
I nodded, still weeping. I wasn't actually best friends with him, but he was one of the nicest people I'd ever met in my life. The bus driver signaled for us to get off, so we did.
All I remember after that was getting in the car and telling my mom what happened-while I was still crying-and calling my three best girlfriends in the whole world. The first one calmly told me that everything would work out fine, and she really helped me through it. The second one didn't believe me, since I'd pulled a prank on her before about this. Eventually, she did, and she said she felt really sorry for me. The third one was shocked, then offered to take me to Shogun. I asked my mom if I could go, and she agreed.
I've learned a lot of things these past few weeks. Boys aren't everything. Hanging on to every word somebody said isn't that smart, either. Recently, things have gone back to normal. We're talking a little bit, and I'm still sitting at the table with the guys and two of my besties. And our conversations about rock music, funny TV shows, being gothic outsiders and annoying snobs haven't changed much. I had dated this guy for over a year and a half, and I was already getting over him.
Part of it was finding out he was a liar. Turns out, he'd started crushing on a freshman girl a couple weeks before the break-up. That doesn't matter to me anymore.
I learned a lot about myself, too. I'm a lot stronger on the inside than I thought I was. I really didn't like him as much as I thought I did; I was just used to him as a boyfriend. And I got a totally awesome song written from the whole thing, too.
So if you're out there, reading this, and you've been involved in anything: bad relationships, drugs, abuse, bullying, even sex... just know that you're a lot stronger than you think you are, and don't forget who you are inside and who you can trust. Someone's always there for you, whether you believe it or not. Try to be more positive in life, unlike me. And if you've just been dumped by a liar, idiot, jerk, or anything annoying, remember one important thing:
He was never worth it, anyway.