Quietly | Teen Ink

Quietly

August 25, 2018
By Anonymous

I made a mistake with you

You made me feel safe for awhile

Helped me let me let down my walls

I told you about the past that haunts me


Thinking I was doing something good for myself

Your false “love” hurt me, broke me, made me feel worse

Why did I think I could have you and not let silver kiss my skin

It all bled together


I told you things I can’t take back

Secrets of the night

Secrets hidden in my mind

Things that shouldn’t of been brought to light


Demons haunt my mind

All day, all night

What led me to believe you were so perfect

When truly you're imperfect as imperfect can be


I found you, I had you, I let you go

Now only silver can get me through the night

The water stings my skin

What I thought no one could see, everyone could


My silver was supposed to be a secret

But I let a friend in

It’s spiraled downhill since

Don’t know what to do anymore


In the beginning I was hoping my secret wouldn’t be discovered

Everyone thinks I’m better

How I wish that were true

But silver is my lover again


How I now wish someone would see

Would help me

But it’s gone unnoticed

Will it ever be caught


The broken skin and rigid red bumps

Hiding in plain sight but hidden all the same

Too busy for me or to blind to see

Do I want to be caught or let it be swept away


Blood drips down my stomach

Down my sides

But I’ll suffer quietly

So as not to trouble anybody


The author's comments:

True story. I don't know how I felt about my friend going to the counselors but I'd come to terms with it. Last night, August 24, 2018 was the worst night I've had in a long time. Lost my streak that had lasted all summer except for one time I couldn't help it. Every time I've nicked my skin while shaving I have struggled so hard not to cut. Last night I didn't even have to nick my knee. I just went for the "silver" and it happened.


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