Opulence | Teen Ink

Opulence MAG

May 1, 2008
By AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.


I’ve been watching him for days now. When he leaves his house to go to school, I’m the one carefully tailing him, switching cars every day to make myself look less suspicious. If he ever sneaks out of his second-story room, I’ll be the one silently watching from a nearby tree. In class when he turns, feeling eyes on the back of his head, I’m the one who sent the hair on the back of his neck up on end. I am the girl whose shadow is always slightly overlapping his.

Being assigned to watch him almost makes me
feel like I’m not a stalker. Though I’m only 17, I’m a full-fledged member of the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. I’ve been with them since the ­tender age of five. It’s my home. Being an orphan, my office is also my permanent residence, the couch a fold-out bed. There are many others like me: no family. A lot of us are loners and haven’t chosen this route for ourselves.

I’m a tracker. I have been for years and some might say that I am the best at not being the best. In other words, I’m great at being invisible. Or at not being noticed. It’s not as hard as the others in the organization think. Being young and female is good, since most we track are young. Seeing me around younger people – my age, actually – doesn’t raise alarm bells. It helps that I’m cute. With a small frame, light hazel eyes, and short blond hair that curls under my chin, I don’t appear threatening. Of course, my ­organization-funded training doesn’t back that theory.

Soon I won’t be tracking down others with the power. They are finally going to give me an apprentice. After years of mastering everything I’ve been taught, they see my potential. That’s not to say I know everything. Even with my extended life I won’t be able to learn all the things I want to. If only this annoying boy would show the signs. It’s been almost a week. If he doesn’t show soon, they’ll reassign me. That much longer until I get my apprentice.

So here I am, sipping a latté and waiting for the Target to leave for school. I have been put in all of his classes in case something happens there, though I graduated high school years ago. Private tutors sped things up. With no family or personal ties, I had lots of time to devote to my studies. Martial arts black belts. Twelve languages, not including English. Everything a girl needs for a serious career in the agency. Such positions of power are not handed out easily. You must prove yourself many times over.

The Target and I have never spoken, but I know a lot about him. His file told me some, but after watching him for only a few days, I feel confident in saying that I know things no one else does. Not just the obvious, either. He resents his father and is protective of his mother, which makes me suspect the father is less than faithful. He smiles often but doesn’t make a lot of eye contact. He usually only speaks when spoken to. Although he has many friends, he isn’t close with any of them. The Target is observant, a watcher. This leads me to believe we would get along if he shows any promise.

I look down at my watch, then back at his house a few blocks away. The Target is late, which means I’ll be late too. Today my ride is a shiny black sports car, not out of place in this suburb full of midlife-crisis men. I turn on the engine impatiently. I’m fiddling with the radio when I hear something. I don’t feel any immediate danger, and I know to trust those feelings. But I ­also know that something is off.

Just as I am about to get out of the car and pretend to look in the trunk, the passenger door opens. I look up in surprise as the Target slides into the seat next to me. I grin, quite pleased by this turn of events. This is definitely a good sign. Perhaps intuition is strong in him. That would be good for my apprentice to have, complementary. I could handle having to deal with that.

“Hello, Lenna. Why have you been following me for a week now?” the Target asks lightly, conversationally, his first words ever said in my direction.

Ah, one of my many aliases. The organization set it up so that whenever I’m on a case, I get a new name, past, and present. It’s very powerful. The organization can basically do anything it needs; it has people everywhere imaginable. I’m just one of many, though there aren’t that many at the top, as I am. They don’t trust many to be trackers. Or to be apprentices. All of the full members have the power, though we control others to get things done.

My smile deepens as I say in my authoritative, professional voice, “My real name is Jade. I am a witch of the moon and a tracker for the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. You are also a witch. We would like to formally welcome you into the organization as my apprentice. Here is my card for verification.”

Jade Wordsworth
Tracker for O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E
Official Political Understanding Lending ­Everyone ­Navigation for Co-Existing Ethereals
Office hours: 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon-Sat
Phone: 555-5555
Proud league of witches of the sun and moon.
Worldwide.

“What do you mean ‘moon and sun’? Or ‘tracker’?” he asks, still looking at my card like it’s going to ­disappear.

“Types of magic. Moon is all about spells, the sun is more potion-based, though each type of witchcraft involves the other somehow. As a tracker, I find people like you and I bring them to O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. Every witch must register, train, and become a member by law. In fact, the organization is like a government targeted toward witches,” I explain with a smile, loving the fact that this time I get to teach the newbie.

“Magic? Seriously?” he asks, eyes wide, meeting mine. They are large, yellow, and catlike.

I click a button on my left, automatically locking the doors. I put the car into drive, pulling out onto the road. As an afterthought I add as a courtesy, “I think you had better come with me.” .



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This article has 896 comments.


on May. 18 2010 at 7:52 pm
skatergirl13 PLATINUM, Woodbridge, Virginia
21 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
" your heart is the most valuable thing I have I don't want to lose it"

girl who have some talent i really love this story and i got really into it keep on writing

tweeet. said...
on May. 18 2010 at 7:41 pm
tweeet., Atglen, Pennsylvania
0 articles 1 photo 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
happy birthdayy.

i love thiss!!! it's amazing!!!

Snookums said...
on May. 18 2010 at 8:19 am
Snookums, Boston, Massachusetts
0 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Call Me for a good time"
"Get in meh belly"

creep much?

on May. 16 2010 at 7:58 pm
namecrisis.ohno, Virginia Beach, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Hey, this was a great read. =]  I was captured by the mystery from the very beginning.  i did spot two areas that could use a bit of tweaking.  

“Hello, Lenna. Why have you been following me for a week now?” the Target asks lightly, conversationally, his first words ever said in my direction.  <<< that was too blunt.  and kinda put a damper on how much i was enjoying your story.

I say in my authoritative, professional voice  <<<< can you show that some other way?

you have done a great job with details in this short story.  you may ignore my suggestions if you wish to.

and i have to agree on the comments about being anticlimatic.  maybe that's because you rushed to the ending.  perhaps draw that out.  create several shorts/episodes that show the whole plot unfold.  maybe even let us know how that training goes.  and a possible romance?

it's all up to you of course.  

I'm going to go check out more of your work.

lex123412 said...
on May. 16 2010 at 7:49 pm
lex123412, Richmond, Massachusetts
0 articles 1 photo 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
if your opinion is good (great) if not? who cares?

AWSOME i love this

Moongirl15 said...
on May. 16 2010 at 1:14 pm
I really liked your writing style. It was very amazing and intreaging to read. I think it would have been a bit better for me however if you gave the "Target" a choice. It would have been more intreging if he wanted to stay...Over all it was really amazing though

EllieK. BRONZE said...
on May. 16 2010 at 9:34 am
EllieK. BRONZE, Wilmette, Illinois
4 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Not all who wander are lost"
JRR Tolkien

"Sometimes life sucks, so suck it up"
-ME

""We succeeded in taking that picture (from deep space), and if you look a it, you see a dot. Thats here. That's home. Thats us. On it, everyone you ever heard of

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR AN ARTICLE TO GO THROUGH THE EDITORS AND GET PUT ON THE WEBSITE, THANKS?

on May. 16 2010 at 9:17 am
angeeeyxo BRONZE, Burlington, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid." -Han Solo

I agree that this was anticlimatic, and also that it was cliche. I like the idea of a girl having the power in the relationship and I think that that holds a lot of potential.

on May. 15 2010 at 11:29 am
she-is-a-witch, Towson, Maryland
0 articles 0 photos 33 comments
I absolutely loved it, up until he asked 'hello Lenna, why have you been following me for a week?"  Then the ending started, and though it was ok, I think it was cliched- I've read so many books that go that way.  I agree with the person who said it was anticlimatic.  You really drew me in at first though, and I like your style of writing. 

Carolyn said...
on May. 14 2010 at 5:16 pm
This was rather disappointing. Although you have a knack of writing good sentences, the end was so anticlimatic. I started to get really intrigued, but as soon as she FORCED him to stay with her, I totally lost interest. I get a little annoyed when characters are not given a choice in what they can do. Keep writing!

on May. 14 2010 at 4:27 pm
KelleySchorn SILVER, Fort Worth, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whatever you are be a good one-some president i dont remember which
procrastinaters unite!...tomorrow!!-matt
i'm F-U-L-LLLLL i think i can spellllll-allie =]

wow that was awsome i think you should definitely add on to the story i like your style of writing

CodyK BRONZE said...
on May. 13 2010 at 12:44 pm
CodyK BRONZE, Bettendorf, Iowa
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Thats what she said.

I love it! You should creat more. I like the ending were they pull off and she is like "I think you better come with me". Was that your exact words because it's awesome!

on May. 12 2010 at 10:21 pm
evrycloudyday7 PLATINUM, Wappingers Falls, New York
28 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what counts." Seneca
"I'll just read a book instead. I don't care if we're just friends. I can hang out with myself I'm old enough now to pretend. Bam ba dum ba dum ba dum." kate n

i really like this piece. it's well written. read my stuff too please! the most recently added writing.

iamnoelle GOLD said...
on May. 12 2010 at 6:05 pm
iamnoelle GOLD, Tok, Alaska
11 articles 8 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do or do not...there is no try." -Yoda
"Life is only a dream, to die is to wake from it." -David G. (A friend of mine.)

Hmmm...... Interesting, the ending was unexpected, but not "in your face wow!". Good, short read.

teenink12345 said...
on May. 11 2010 at 10:21 am
teenink12345, New York, New York
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments

I really ejoyed this story. If you like this then you should checnk out time traveler from the past

 


hanfan24 GOLD said...
on May. 10 2010 at 12:22 pm
hanfan24 GOLD, Dexter, Michigan
15 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is not the magnitude of your actions, but the amount of love you put into them that counts." Mother Teresa

This was really intriguing, but I don't know about the witchcraft.  Try something else.

on May. 8 2010 at 1:49 pm
christian.e SILVER, Dutch Harbor, Alaska
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
The eternal silence of these infinite spaces frightens me --Pascal

You had me up until witchcraft. I really liked it until she took out the card. I thought it would be more realistic

izzy2 SILVER said...
on May. 6 2010 at 6:52 pm
izzy2 SILVER, Charlottesville, Virginia
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments
this was really intriguing. i'm not a huge fan of fantasy, but this interested me. great job!

fafafa said...
on May. 4 2010 at 5:51 pm
i agree dude... i dont see wut the big fuss if about... SO MUCH BETTER STUFF ON THIS SITE. 75% of the people on here could write this

Kimbla said...
on May. 4 2010 at 1:04 pm
Kimbla, G, Mississippi
0 articles 0 photos 22 comments
it kept me captivated but witchcraft....nope not me. so i dont like it but i think your a good writer. just write on.. somthing else.