Opulence | Teen Ink

Opulence MAG

May 1, 2008
By AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.


I’ve been watching him for days now. When he leaves his house to go to school, I’m the one carefully tailing him, switching cars every day to make myself look less suspicious. If he ever sneaks out of his second-story room, I’ll be the one silently watching from a nearby tree. In class when he turns, feeling eyes on the back of his head, I’m the one who sent the hair on the back of his neck up on end. I am the girl whose shadow is always slightly overlapping his.

Being assigned to watch him almost makes me
feel like I’m not a stalker. Though I’m only 17, I’m a full-fledged member of the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. I’ve been with them since the ­tender age of five. It’s my home. Being an orphan, my office is also my permanent residence, the couch a fold-out bed. There are many others like me: no family. A lot of us are loners and haven’t chosen this route for ourselves.

I’m a tracker. I have been for years and some might say that I am the best at not being the best. In other words, I’m great at being invisible. Or at not being noticed. It’s not as hard as the others in the organization think. Being young and female is good, since most we track are young. Seeing me around younger people – my age, actually – doesn’t raise alarm bells. It helps that I’m cute. With a small frame, light hazel eyes, and short blond hair that curls under my chin, I don’t appear threatening. Of course, my ­organization-funded training doesn’t back that theory.

Soon I won’t be tracking down others with the power. They are finally going to give me an apprentice. After years of mastering everything I’ve been taught, they see my potential. That’s not to say I know everything. Even with my extended life I won’t be able to learn all the things I want to. If only this annoying boy would show the signs. It’s been almost a week. If he doesn’t show soon, they’ll reassign me. That much longer until I get my apprentice.

So here I am, sipping a latté and waiting for the Target to leave for school. I have been put in all of his classes in case something happens there, though I graduated high school years ago. Private tutors sped things up. With no family or personal ties, I had lots of time to devote to my studies. Martial arts black belts. Twelve languages, not including English. Everything a girl needs for a serious career in the agency. Such positions of power are not handed out easily. You must prove yourself many times over.

The Target and I have never spoken, but I know a lot about him. His file told me some, but after watching him for only a few days, I feel confident in saying that I know things no one else does. Not just the obvious, either. He resents his father and is protective of his mother, which makes me suspect the father is less than faithful. He smiles often but doesn’t make a lot of eye contact. He usually only speaks when spoken to. Although he has many friends, he isn’t close with any of them. The Target is observant, a watcher. This leads me to believe we would get along if he shows any promise.

I look down at my watch, then back at his house a few blocks away. The Target is late, which means I’ll be late too. Today my ride is a shiny black sports car, not out of place in this suburb full of midlife-crisis men. I turn on the engine impatiently. I’m fiddling with the radio when I hear something. I don’t feel any immediate danger, and I know to trust those feelings. But I ­also know that something is off.

Just as I am about to get out of the car and pretend to look in the trunk, the passenger door opens. I look up in surprise as the Target slides into the seat next to me. I grin, quite pleased by this turn of events. This is definitely a good sign. Perhaps intuition is strong in him. That would be good for my apprentice to have, complementary. I could handle having to deal with that.

“Hello, Lenna. Why have you been following me for a week now?” the Target asks lightly, conversationally, his first words ever said in my direction.

Ah, one of my many aliases. The organization set it up so that whenever I’m on a case, I get a new name, past, and present. It’s very powerful. The organization can basically do anything it needs; it has people everywhere imaginable. I’m just one of many, though there aren’t that many at the top, as I am. They don’t trust many to be trackers. Or to be apprentices. All of the full members have the power, though we control others to get things done.

My smile deepens as I say in my authoritative, professional voice, “My real name is Jade. I am a witch of the moon and a tracker for the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. You are also a witch. We would like to formally welcome you into the organization as my apprentice. Here is my card for verification.”

Jade Wordsworth
Tracker for O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E
Official Political Understanding Lending ­Everyone ­Navigation for Co-Existing Ethereals
Office hours: 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon-Sat
Phone: 555-5555
Proud league of witches of the sun and moon.
Worldwide.

“What do you mean ‘moon and sun’? Or ‘tracker’?” he asks, still looking at my card like it’s going to ­disappear.

“Types of magic. Moon is all about spells, the sun is more potion-based, though each type of witchcraft involves the other somehow. As a tracker, I find people like you and I bring them to O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. Every witch must register, train, and become a member by law. In fact, the organization is like a government targeted toward witches,” I explain with a smile, loving the fact that this time I get to teach the newbie.

“Magic? Seriously?” he asks, eyes wide, meeting mine. They are large, yellow, and catlike.

I click a button on my left, automatically locking the doors. I put the car into drive, pulling out onto the road. As an afterthought I add as a courtesy, “I think you had better come with me.” .



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This article has 896 comments.


turn_it_up(: said...
on Feb. 20 2010 at 1:56 pm
i'm confused at what you (the reader) are talking about. are you talking about a previous comment or her story? because i actually do have jme (juvenile mioclonic epilepsy) and in the story, i didn't find anything mocking about 'heart conditions or epilepsy/seizures.'

on Feb. 20 2010 at 1:37 pm
valwriter23 BRONZE, Homer Glen, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment." pride and prejudice~ Jane Austen

yeah..its hard to make a good story based around something that has no rules. you have to be extremely dedicated to research for stories like this.

BethA GOLD said...
on Feb. 20 2010 at 3:56 am
BethA GOLD, Ballarat, Other
15 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
God gives with one and takes with another.

Do you not think that some people who suffer from either epilepsy or heart problems would laugh along with you making fun of seizures or heart attacks? Just watch what you say...

on Feb. 18 2010 at 6:38 pm
juicyfan6 BRONZE, Mount Laurel, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." - J.K. Rowling

I think you had a good idea, but I think you "pour" too much information out at once. And he believes Jade too quickly. If she had told me I was a witch, I would flat out say, "No." But it's a good plot.

on Feb. 18 2010 at 4:31 pm
RiotRave SILVER, Earlimart, California
7 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What the frick?!!"
"That's what she said"

This just seems like some kind of spin-off of Harry Potter (with the witchcraft and stuff). It sounds... inorganic. Like... this is just typed up with no really deep thought. It's too technical, little emotion. I gave it three stars.

on Feb. 18 2010 at 8:37 am
Piper_at_the_gates SILVER, Kennebunk, Maine
6 articles 0 photos 14 comments
I feel like an outsider among the three hundred eighty-something people who like this story, but I feel I must comment that I actually couldn't finish this story. The plot isn't original, I've read many books with the same. I admit, it is very well written, but storyline-wise, it could use some help.

I'm tired of seeing this on my front fiction page as number one voted and (for the past two weeks or so) 'Most discussed'.

on Feb. 17 2010 at 6:21 pm
Seanmcb11 BRONZE, Downingtown, Pennsylvania
2 articles 3 photos 7 comments
Honestly I did not like this and I still wonder why I see it as one of the most read. Sure your writing style is good and your since of story obviously captivates people. But it feels rather vain and shallow i feel like im reading the witch version of the twilight saga and twilight has no depth just a good plot

lexi<3 GOLD said...
on Feb. 17 2010 at 6:15 pm
lexi<3 GOLD, Spaulding, South Dakota
15 articles 7 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

as i'm sure everyone has said in the last 385 comments (wow, by the way) this is amazing. as i'm also sure, someone has said something about the frankness of her explanation to him. it's not that she explains too EARLY in the story, it's just that he BELIEVES her too EASILY. if someone told me i was a witch i wouldn't believe them that easy and would definitely try to jump out of the car before she could drive away. Unless, of course, there's a REASON he believes her so easily, such as an odd connection between the two or a magical thing that MAKES him believe her, in which case i would reccomend including that fairly soon in her thoughts so it explains his abrupt understanding. ... i just read that back to myself and got confused, so i'm sorry i can't get my words out as clearly as i'd like. =) lol. hopefully this helps someone or anyone -or maybe just my typing skills. =) it was really, truly captivating. i hope there is more and you're nice to us little people- post it on here and don't make us wait until the book comes out. =) lol.

on Feb. 17 2010 at 4:54 pm
NineMuses PLATINUM, Pelham, New York
22 articles 2 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
-Jack London

I really liked this piece. It felt almost like the beginning of a novel or something much longer. However, I did think that the meeting between the witch and the boy happened way too abruptly. It went right from the perplexing and fascinating start to a full-out explanation and it seemed really rushed to me. It lost all of the subtle nature in an instant. However, if you were to expand this and perhaps make that conversation longer and less abrupt, this could turn out to be a masterpiece.

Pee Wee 93 said...
on Feb. 17 2010 at 1:29 pm
This piece did a very good job by hooking the reader in and causing the reader to tap into his/her imagination. It also allows them to feel as though they were in the story and forget where they actually are reading this piece. The stalking adds a nice touch in the beginning too.

8thgreader said...
on Feb. 16 2010 at 6:19 pm
wow...this is realy good

twiwrite GOLD said...
on Feb. 16 2010 at 2:30 pm
twiwrite GOLD, Modesto, California
14 articles 0 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
none :P

haha great idea, you could definaly expand this into a whole story!

on Feb. 16 2010 at 10:12 am
~Wolf-Woman~ PLATINUM, Carthage, Missouri
24 articles 10 photos 31 comments
I really like your story and I have nothing negative to say about it. Well done!

on Feb. 15 2010 at 2:28 am
HeadshotM SILVER, Melbourne, New York
7 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your failure is my success

um.. please comment on the articles ive written?

super cutie said...
on Feb. 15 2010 at 1:53 am
thats my girl!There you go!

super cutie said...
on Feb. 15 2010 at 1:51 am
read the storie!........................................nothing more to say

super cutie said...
on Feb. 15 2010 at 1:47 am
I didnt think the auther woaild like what you said.BY READING IT ONCE.

super cutie said...
on Feb. 15 2010 at 1:42 am
I love it because it really moves me.Espeasuly the ending,so suprizing.............and awsome

on Feb. 12 2010 at 8:40 pm
Robkingett PLATINUM, Tallahassee, Florida
24 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
When I was little they called me a liar, but now I'm grown up, they call me a writer.

i hated it................ NOT!

on Feb. 12 2010 at 5:41 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

It really did draw me in, but the ending was a little bit abrupt and the witchcraft thing surprised me and could have been explained a little bit more thoroughly. Other than that, it was really really good. I liked it :)