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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2183 comments.
It was great! I hope if you have time you'd check this out: TeenInk.com/poetry/sonnet/article/808811/The-Prickle-Bush/
So I read this a few times, and then I forgot about it for awhile. In that time I worked on a sketch of a dragon. The dragon was thin, and the bone showed through the scales, along with that, he was wingless. I drew a collar around his neck, and a chain that had been tied around a large stone; as it was connected to the core of the planet. The last I saw of the dragon was his eyes, staring up at the only sky he'd ever see. After about another month, I re read the poem. The last part of the poem struck me as something that could have happened to the dragon, and being the wimp I was, I started crying.
Cam_is_Away said...
on Jun. 16 2015 at 9:41 pm
I'm re-reading the last two lines, over and over again, trying to decided whether it is a good thing or a bad thing? I'm not sure... This is a fantastic poem that I read often - Great job! It holds so much in so few words! This is talent.
loveable-peaches said...
on Jun. 11 2015 at 12:58 pm
I wish I had a father :)
Check out my work here! TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/803145/A-Girl-Made-of-Glass/
PoeticAtheist SILVER said...
on May. 31 2015 at 10:24 am
would anybody be willing to look at one of my submissions It's my first spoken word piece and I would like as much feedback as possible. Thanks! TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/802213/A-prayer-to-my-mirror/
Roe-Daniels BRONZE said...
on May. 29 2015 at 8:46 am
I comment on this piece maybe a year ago and it is still number one in the most discussed. That's a true sign of a good poem. Looking forward to reading more of your work Carl H
Maddie0035 said...
on May. 28 2015 at 6:15 pm
Wow! This poem paints such a perfect picture of childhood!
UnknownSoul GOLD said...
on May. 17 2015 at 6:11 pm
I love this poem. Good job!
TheBestOfWriting BRONZE said...
on May. 15 2015 at 5:14 pm
love this poem!
super.ballerina SILVER said...
on May. 15 2015 at 9:04 am
There is a lot of symbolism in this piece. Really great work, Keep it up!
Please check out my poem at this site: TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/795039/Chasing-Dreams/
miiranda_18 BRONZE said...
on May. 13 2015 at 6:43 pm
Go check out mine! TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/.../The-Dirty-Man/
angelique said...
on May. 12 2015 at 3:17 pm
WOW. you really have skills you can right good poetry its easy to understand I just love it
baby-p said...
on Apr. 29 2015 at 12:22 pm
i have a native American side to me so when i feel things deeply n strong i get empathy chills idk how to explain it just that this poem was heart touching
MadisonHudson BRONZE said...
on Apr. 24 2015 at 2:44 pm
This was amazing. You have definetley got some skills.
beAWESOMEstayAWESOME BRONZE said...
on Apr. 19 2015 at 8:02 pm
So the father wants his son to try new things,explore the world around him, become someone successful,amazing,and special, but at the same time he doesn't want his son to leave him all alone. This honeslty made me feel like crying,but i loved. *thumbs up* Keep writing! :)
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Favorite Quote:
"I always wonder why birds stay in one place when they can fly anywhere around the world. But then I ask myself the same question."