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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2183 comments.

Valerie1234 GOLD said...
on May. 10 2010 at 12:24 pm
Valerie1234 GOLD, Whitmore Lake, Michigan
17 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all"

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Hey! This is GREAT!! I'm also a poet, and i've been writing for a few years now, and just recently posted a few of my own pieces. This is GREAT, you deffinatly have potential in the poetry world! Keep it up! If you ever have a few free moments to take a look at some of my work and comment that'd be sweet.
dianaforfree said...
on May. 9 2010 at 2:55 pm

delicious and haunting and just so very beautiful. you are waaay talented, and should feel so very proud. you're wonderful. 

my own few poems only just posted: I'd love any feedback anyone could give me; would be perfect. thank you!

 

SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM said...
on May. 8 2010 at 7:35 pm
SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM, Hillsdale, New Jersey
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wow this is seriously good. i literally gasped and pictured it in my mind as i read through. great job dude, keep writing <3
LegendTitan30 GOLD said...
on May. 8 2010 at 6:15 am
LegendTitan30 GOLD, Parker, Colorado
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This is a really great piece of writing :)
ElijahN PLATINUM said...
on May. 7 2010 at 4:16 pm
ElijahN PLATINUM, Livonia, Michigan
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i literally said wow when i read this again. amazement oozed from me.
ErinCole BRONZE said...
on May. 7 2010 at 3:28 pm
ErinCole BRONZE, *******,
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Amazing job!
Thesoccerman37 said...
on May. 5 2010 at 7:04 pm
This is awesome i wish i could write like this it really cheered me up b/c my mom was mad at me im glad u wrote this
JessicaPhdEng BRONZE said...
on May. 5 2010 at 6:26 pm
JessicaPhdEng BRONZE, Smyrna, Tennessee
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Most of the time I judge peoples poetry harshly. But this poem is great. It's perfect. You have some of the best talent I've seen. Way to go. Keep at it.
Casie_Fred BRONZE said...
on May. 3 2010 at 8:00 am
Casie_Fred BRONZE, Hermon, Maine
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This is easy to relate to, wanting to move on and up in the world (fly), but being restrained by parents
funnythewayitis SILVER said...
on May. 2 2010 at 5:38 pm
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I really like this. Its such a great representation of some many people's relationships with their parents.
OwenHarpersGirl BRONZE said...
on May. 1 2010 at 10:39 pm
OwenHarpersGirl BRONZE, Oshawa, Other
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Amazing. It really makes you think, especially when you're able to relate to it. Great job :)
CarolynQ GOLD said...
on May. 1 2010 at 1:15 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
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visionary. chilling, and strong.i would love it if you checked my work out :)
hello.beautiful PLATINUM said...
on May. 1 2010 at 10:18 am
hello.beautiful PLATINUM, New York, New York
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I love these types of poems that make you think.

I can relate.

 

BiancaMarie SILVER said...
on Apr. 30 2010 at 8:23 am
BiancaMarie SILVER, Colchester, Vermont
5 articles 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
better loved then lost then never to have loved at all

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great poem! (: 

checkk out minee?

caasper13 said...
on Apr. 30 2010 at 7:44 am
love your peom
crazylegsjosh24 said...
on Apr. 29 2010 at 10:00 am
wow dude i no wat ur going thru. keep trying to break that chain!
Sarx96_Alas BRONZE said...
on Apr. 28 2010 at 12:44 pm
Sarx96_Alas BRONZE, Springdale, Arkansas
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Sorry about your father HopeDreamLove.  My dad is some times a jerk to me so I feel the same way.
DevonP SILVER said...
on Apr. 27 2010 at 10:24 am
DevonP SILVER, Wolcott, New York
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My father is often not in my life, but my mother keeps me on a chain. :( I don't like it but i'm slowly breaking the chain.
LostButNeverFound PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 26 2010 at 9:15 pm
LostButNeverFound PLATINUM, Phoenix, Arizona
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i loved ur poem=]
MangoMoonlight BRONZE said...
on Apr. 26 2010 at 4:25 pm
MangoMoonlight BRONZE, Newton, Massachusetts
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Yes, the poem is great, but I think the theme is what makes it so, not the slant rhyme and the stanzas.  And as for reminding you of Emily Dickinson, I'm thinking more of an E.E. Cummings "morbidly curious" feel.  But, I do see your point in posting a specific comment like that in a sea of "Carl, you're soo good" and "OMG you are fab".  Much more constructive.