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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2183 comments.
Unknown said...
on Jan. 24 2010 at 6:41 pm
Amazing! Very well done!
Sissybug2012 PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 24 2010 at 6:20 pm
OH MY GOSH THIS IS MY FAVE OF ALL TIME!! VERY GOOD VERY GOOD!
SeanConnery BRONZE said...
on Jan. 24 2010 at 2:17 pm
good poem
i like it
i like it
StevImagenary SILVER said...
on Jan. 23 2010 at 3:44 pm
I loved it. I think it's great to show your inner self.
zacharydinan PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 21 2010 at 7:50 pm
great job. It has a lot of hidden meaning. Please check out my poems.
Kara_333 said...
on Jan. 19 2010 at 6:50 pm
extremely mature. they r trying to capture their memories of childhood. Ur still there.
Interesting poem. It seems so symbolic, and I'm still trying to figure it out.; especially, I enjoyed your selective use of capitalization. A little confused about the rhyme scheme, though, for while your poem is listed as free verse, several of the lines rhyme. They seem intentional but also rather sporadic and arbitrarily chosen. Alas that I cannot seem into the poet's mind!
On the whole, great work.
On the whole, great work.
laliel said...
on Jan. 18 2010 at 5:10 pm
i love it
i think you truly
captured what it is to be a kid
always trying to fly
i think you truly
captured what it is to be a kid
always trying to fly
SolvoAnimus BRONZE said...
on Jan. 18 2010 at 2:03 am
Chilling poem! I nearly farted..
JOHNYILOVEYOUSOMUCH BRONZE said...
on Jan. 16 2010 at 2:50 am
OMG UR REALLY TALENTED LIKE REALLY WOW DATS REALLY GOOD :D KEEP IT UP
another_teenage_itiot PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 15 2010 at 11:16 am
I like it! I also kinda relate to it.
